I can't exactly tell you the moment that I decided to begin this support group but it evolved gradually. One pivotal point was when I was very ill and had my own "other side" experience.
Everyone knows that I LOVE Bon Jovi, always have and always will. Who better to get my attention than the Bon himself. After seeing his picture all over the net, it made me think of Feb 2007. I had the most horrific headache ever! It was so bad that i went to the ER. I was told that it was stress and a migraine and to go home after they medicated me and I should rest. My mother had just passed away and i chalked it up to stress. Well, that didn't work so well. I laid in bed in pain, couldn't talk, eat, rest or move. Two days later my temp hit 102 degrees, it felt like 200 but my thermometer said 102. WHOA! Could it be there was more wrong?
Back to the ER I went. This time the female physician says," Would you like me to admit you?" Are you kidding me? She now thinks it is a virus and fluids will help. Well fluids didn't help, pain meds didn't help, NOTHING HELPED! They started an antibiotic regimen, I am still not sure why but my head hurt too much to ask.
I laid in bed for over 24 hours before the neurologist came in. At this point I could still talk. He asked the nurse if anyone thought to do a spinal tap. No, of course not! Why would anyone think to do the obvious? Apparently the antibiotic was already killing bacteria because the temp was coming down but not the headache so it was pointless but let's do an MRI!
The headache became so bad that i drifted in and out. I was mostly out and very cranky according to my friend Sue. At times, I heard a very booming voice tell me that I had 27 hours to decide. Decide what? Hmmm. I was shown people in my life and told which ones needed to go, they were not for my highest good. I had to agree. I was shown my son, and I was told he may stay or he may go, that was not decided as of yet. All right then, Aj may be getting a job and moving out. The people were shown were faces on cards, like flash cards. As they falshed them one by one, I agreed. My discard pile had a friend who later proved to be no friend at all. She discarded herself literally.
On day five I asked the nurse to turn down the music and turn off the bright lights. The light was so bright it was making my head hurt. I heard her pick up the phone and call the neurologist to come immediately. "She is hearing music and seeing a bright light!" Everytime I tried to crack my eye to see, he would be sitting in the chair in the corner. It never occurred to me that he was holding vigil. I could feel and hear the gurgling in my chest when i breathed. Somehow, the medical personnel didn't until i mentioned it. OH MY! Yay, more antibiotics which I later learned I was allergic to.
Meanwhile the hours were ticking down and every hour on the hour I heard 23 more hours to decide, 22 hours, etc. At this point I guess I didn't think that was very strange. While being out and about, i never saw the voice but I heard music. The line in the song that I heard over and over stood out was, " Who says you can't go home". It was kinda catchy and I tried my best to remember the song for i never heard it before. I knew it was BonJovi singing it, that got my attention!
It was more comfortable to stay out of body for that didn't hurt like when I came back. I will say, that when people make the decision to pass to the other side, be very clear on this point, perfectly CLEAR, that decision is made without emotion and memory of your life here. You do not think about anyone left behind. I think our memory is unintentionally removed while making the decision.
At some point, my friend Sue and her son were on their way home from a trip. He told her they needed to go to Beaumont immediately. He just knew someone needed their help. Now, you have to understand her son, he KNOWS THINGS. Accurately, KNOWS things! So, being the amazing person she is, she just goes with the flow. They got the call that it was me and proceeded to the hospital. They came in and went to work doing Reiki and Energy Healing. The neurologist walked in and asked them to continue because what he was doing wasn't working so well. Her son signaled that I wasn't going anywhere because Jesus told him I was needed on the planet.
It was within hours that I perked up. I give credit to the healing because modern medicine didn't do much. Since then, the people I agreed to let go have gone. The biggest loss was my son AJ. I think I was given warning but didn't realize it at the time. I don't remember decided to come back but apparently I did.
Here is the kicker. When we pulled up to the Dr.'s office about a week later, a new song came on the radio. It was BonJovi singing, "Who says you can't go home!" WHOA! It was a real song and the meaning is totally obvious to me now. This stuff still freaks me out!!!
Every once in awhile Sue still asks me if I put her in my discard pile? Now you all know what we are talking about.
Moral to this story is.... If you have lost someone you love, it was nothing personal! Their time was up or they decided with free will to exit. It had nothing to do with spite for you or leaving you to make you miserable or punish you for there is no emotion in this decision. This i know FOR SURE!